Cheyenne's PhotoJ Blog

Sunday, August 2, 2015

bringing her to life

I am writing you a poem right now.

I keep asking myself why this feeling and script are so familiar.

I realize it is because I have been working on this of days.

I just couldn't find the words.

I feel like you are so much more than words on paper.

But, I decided to continue.

I look for your brown eyes in my coffee every morning.

Every time I feel someones hand against mine, I hope one day you'll claspe your hands to mine

And knowing Ill forever remember feeling of your fingers throughout mine because of the thinness of my hands.

I look for your sturdy bones when walking down the street, because I start to remember my weak kneecaps.

And i always fall 3 times before reaching any destination.

And you do it so flawlessly, and I envy you for that.

I look for your lips each time he bites my neck and accidentally bumps my teeth, when making out in his car.

I look for your fingers each time I stroll down memory lane of my body.

Knowing you'd soothe my scars.

Because the universe made you into a healer.

I look for you when my phone rings at 4 am

Because I am afraid my words will have came to life

I look to you to take away my fear of knives
To make filled bathtubs only for children

Ill continue to look for you babygirl because thats what I am about these days

I want to cling to you while you're asleep, make sure I always hold you long enough
So you never don't feel worth it
Gotta make sure that you're satisfied and taken care of

At Thanksgiving I'll start my speech...

"I want to memorize every inch of her, so if ever her time comes, I can still bring her image to mind. but, what I don't realize is that she won't ever leave, because I'll make sure I bring her to life everyday."

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Changing My Name To Josephine

Every angle of thought that I provoke is brought down by negativity.

Constantly hating every inch of my existence, wanting me to mold myself into something you've created. You want something I can't physically do.

You don't think I would devour myself if I looked like a fallen tree branch with shaved bark and long lengthy limbs,

I've tried.
I've failed.
And now I feel defeated in my own skin.

When you asked me to change my entire being, I agreed, thinking I am not whole enough for myself, why shouldn't I try to be for someone else.

Maybe make myself into your goddess.
Let the secrets be out, I am not going to every be what you want me to be.
I will never be what I want to be.

I've tried you.
I've failed.
And now I feel defeated without your skin wrapped around me.